How can I get my skin to have that nice, crispy, leathery glow like all the women on Entertainment Tonight?

I%26#039;m a little pale, and I think that if my skin looked more like rawhide, this would add to my attractiveness.|||Just move to Florida and quit using the lotion...|||Nothing hotter%26#039;n a lovely lady in tight leather.


What you have to do is smoke, for about twenty years. During this time you have to lay out in the sun with corn oil all over your body every day


(and send me pictures of this as well, *drool*)


If you can%26#039;t wait twenty years then I suggest this method:


You will need:


1 pair of hiking shoes


1 long metal rod


1 raincoat


Drive your car to Massachusetts and find lodging until the weather forecast calls for storms. On this day put on your hiking shoes and your raincoat and use the metal rod to hike to the peak of Mt. Greylock. Once there wait for storm to ensue then remove raincoat, hiking shoes and all remaining clothes (and take picture/send to me).


Hold the metal rod in your hand above you like an antennae until it conducts lightning.


You may experience a shock at this point but don%26#039;t worry it is normal. The lightning should leave you crispy, fried, and dry as a bone! Done!


Of course you could always stick a fork into an outlet but then I%26#039;d never get the naked pics. (I guess its always gotta be about me)|||HAHAHAHA, Best question ever!


I think the best thing you can do is put as many chemicals on your skin as possible (all at once ofcourse) and then let it all bake in the sun.





Now your other option...which i hear works well on turkeys is mayonnaise. You just coat it..err i mean yourself.. and then get in the oven for a few hours.|||LOL teh thing is.. it doesnt look crispy, and leathery.. it IS crispy and leathery.





They probably fake tan, they have makeup artists and stuff. Its not normal and its not natural.|||Women who look like Muppets made of leather are well-established to be the hottest women in our society.





That is why Paris Hilton is so popular.|||You know, I%26#039;m having the same problem.





I want to go from Vampire to Leather, and I%26#039;m trying to figure out the best course of action. I need tips as well.|||I would be more than happy to come help you tan your hide. I have several effective techniques. I%26#039;m sure they are similar to the methods employed by the ladies who worked their way up the ladder on ET.|||Botox, collagen injections, and hours in a tanning bed.





Hot beef injections might work too.|||Hehe... my friend has a tanning bed in her basement - it was her anniversary gift from the husband... she has that %26quot;glow%26quot; all year round, even in the crispy cold frigid winter. lol





RaWrHidE!|||Move to Florida and lay poolside all day with nothing stronger SPF wise than baby oil. You%26#039;ll soon have that rich deep brown cracked shiny leather look that bespeaks a life of pleasure and leisure.|||10 minutes in the microwave should do it|||Spray yourself with Pig Urine and Essence of mango.|||Yeah, and a great case of skin cancer.|||start using a tanning bed from the time you ar 18.|||make up problily|||a tanning lamp while you sleep